One thing about it? There’s a very non-compassionate voice inside my head. Most days, I laugh when people say they feel like I am judgmental of them or are scared I will look down on them, and it’s like… do you know how preoccupied my brain is with so harshly judging my damn self? After so many years of therapy, that voice dropped from a level 10000 mean to a level 100 mean lol.. but the bottom line? Still mean. I have no seconds to think anything about what the hell anyone else has going on….
Anyways, I decided to do a little writing exercise where I smoke a little weed and let my mind go off. Instead of getting frustrated by the racing thoughts, I will write them here and release them in the latest series entitled TBH, which, if you were born yesterday, means To Be Honest. Because, TBH, This shit was long overdue.
TBH, You Lack Boundaries, Babe
TBH, You don’t speak up enough
TBH, You should give less fucks
TBH, You are a lil’ bit chaotic
TBH, you want to be loved
TBH, you want to be considered
TBH, you are afraid of something serious with the wrong person, and you don’t really trust your decision-making skills at times, so you try to avoid being serious altogether
TBH, You don’t know how to be monogamous because you’re nervous to give your all to someone because you’re sick of people fumbling you and feeling like you wasted your time
TBH, you need a consistent hobby other than banging your body around on a metal pole. Have you considered…….. Writing? HA!
TBH, You need to consider restarting therapy for a few months. You’re starting to be a bit mean
TBH, you are codependent on others the minute they feel A LITTLE BIT safe, because you hate how long you’ve felt lonely thuggin’ life out with just yourself
TBH, You spend too much time in and on your phone
TBH, Them men don’t REALLY want you
TBH, those men are not serious about you
TBH, stop opening the door back up and letting these men back in
TBH, fuck them
TBH, you keep reinjuring yourself by giving people the time of day they don’t deserve
TBH, you check in on other people more than they check on you. Go back to minding your own business.
TBH, You’re a great friend, but your “friends” aren’t that great of friends to you
TBH, That realization kind of stung a bit, but TBH, It’s the truth
TBH, It’s time to clean house
TBH, You’re teetering on the verge of an eating disorder
TBH, You need to eat more food in a day because an eating disorder at 34 is craaaaazy
TBH, You can’t avoid your problems away
TBH, Start dog-walking these bitches again
TBH, You are great being friends with girls, but you really need to start cussing men friends out again. You’ve been letting their bullshit slide too long.
TBH, start with that one man, and you know EXACTLY who I’m talking about
TBH, You need to go back to being transactional. Only support, show love, extend grace and attention to those who give it back. Long gone are the days you keep letting folk be around just to take up space.
TBH, You need to call back your attention and energy
TBH, You give too much grace, energy, and attention to these fucking losers.
TBH, half the shit you entertain is just because half of your ADHD-ridden brain is bored
TBH, Stop replying to that man that’s wasting your time and breadcrumbing the FUCK out of you before you end up physically harming him
TBH, you are amazing at making money
TBH, Bitch you can spend money like a mf too!
TBH, you’re great at saving and being disciplined
TBH, You’re a resourceful and charming woman
TBH, you’re the total package
TBH, you real high brow these days
TBH, you got some real high culture experiences
TBH, you truly don’t look like what you’ve been through, and that’s mind-boggling to you
TBH, you probably can “rebrand” and by that I mean pretend like everything you ever went through in life doesn’t exist.. Because you survived and elevated, so now that shit doesn’t matter
TBH, you let people in your family still emotionally abuse you. The attitudes, the gaslighting, lack of accountability, fake ass silent treatments, and guilt tripping….
TBH, it’s gonna suck and you did it before.. But you gonna have to do it again. Go no contact.. For however long… maybe even forever.
TBH, you’ve been dragging yourself a bit hard here, so it’s time to show some grace
TBH, Bih, look at what you’ve achieved thus far!! Give yourself a damn break.
TBH, to A LOT of people, you should only exist in their dreams. Make that a reality for them.
TBH, All the things you KNOW you need to do need to be kicked off … now.
TBH, You are really patient with your product development, i wish you’d just release the books already.
TBH, you’re a great writer, so I don’t know why you let your self-criticisms convince you that your work isn’t good.
TBH, Just release it. Everything. All things.
TBH, I’m out, cuz you’re oversharing again.
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