And just like that, we’re officially 35.
Things I Learned at 34: A Love Letter to My Growth
Wow, do you ever have those years where the joy just SEEPS from your core and radiates over everything?! That was 34 for me. I mean, everything that could go well… did.. And despite a few hiccups with my health, this was truly a year of unabashed, total fulfilled JOY.
Can we take a moment to talk about what this journey called life has been teaching me? Because baby, 34 served lessons.
That Inner Voice? She Never Lies
You know that feeling in your gut when something just ain’t right? That little voice whispering “girl, no” while everyone else is saying “girl, yes”? Stop questioning her. For real. I spent too many years trying to rationalize away my intuition, letting other people’s opinions drown out what my spirit was screaming. Not anymore. When that inner voice speaks up, I listen.
I learned to trust my inner voice fully. When shit doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t. Don’t gaslight yourself.
The “No Explanation Needed” Policy
Let me put you onto something: you don’t owe anybody an explanation for your choices. Not your mama, not your bestie, not your coworkers – nobody. “No” is a complete sentence. “That doesn’t work for me” is a full statement. Keep that energy.
You don’t owe an explanation to ANYONE about anything.
Their Perception ≠ Your Reality
Here’s the tea: people will always have their opinions about you, your choices, your life. Let them. Their perspective is just that – theirs. It’s filtered through their own experiences, traumas, and biases. Your truth doesn’t need their cosign.
Don’t absorb the opinions of others. They can have their perspective and opinion of their experience with you but that doesn’t mean their experience is rooted in unadulterated fact.
The Social Media Detox is Real
Y’all, we need to talk about how these apps got ya’ll acting. The likes, the comments, the constant comparison – it’s draining the collective soul. I’m seeing how it’s changed the way we connect IRL, and baby, it’s concerning. I’m making it my business to nurture real connections. Face-to-face conversations. Genuine laughter. Real hugs. That’s the energy we need to protect.
Social media has corrupted the spirit, mind, and interactions of individuals. Community in-person has deteriorated. Don’t let that change you. Become more intentional about who you hang, build and spend your time with.
Reciprocity is Non-Negotiable
Listen. Some relationships are like plants that no matter how much you water them, they just won’t grow. And that’s okay. You’re not a bad gardener for letting go of dead plants. Save that energy for relationships that pour back into you.
Only water what waters you. There are relationships that absolutely drain you, you are allowed to let them go.
Ready for Real Love
Whew. Let me tell you something about working on myself so I am TRULY ready for love. It’s not just about wanting it – it’s about doing the work to be ready for it. And as for me? I did that work. I learned to communicate. I set those boundaries. I know my worth. Don’t let anybody convince you to accept less than what your heart knows it deserves.
I think I’m finally ready to open myself up to a serious romantic relationship.
Scratch that, I am ready. I did the work, I’ve evolved my communication issues, and I can set boundaries. I’m clear in what I want my love to feel and be like. I’m not settling or wavering until I find it.
Creating Your Sanctuary
Sometimes peace means distance. Sometimes growth means letting go of people who knew the old you. Your space – physical, mental, emotional – needs to be yours. Make it sacred. Keep it safe.
You have to develop your own safe space. Even if that means distancing yourself from all the people you once adored.
Career Intentionality is Self-Care
Your career deserves the same intention you put into your personal growth. Period. No more letting opportunities pass by. No more dimming your light. Show up for your dreams like you show up for everything else.
In order for your career to continue to grow and evolve.. you have to be as intentional about it as you are your life outside of work.
What’s Meant for You…
What’s for you is FOR YOU. The universe conspires to bring you what’s aligned with your highest good. Trust that process. What you want is already reaching back for you.
What you want ALWAYS wants you back.
The Firefly Effect
You know how fireflies light up the night? That’s me, babe. My light, joy, easy spirit – it draws people in. But here’s the wisdom: I need someone who loves my light without trying to capture it. Someone who knows I shine brightest when I’m free.
Being easygoing and carefree will attract a lot of different kinds of ppl. I call it the firefly effect. Don’t let them catch you and trap you in a jar.. you want someone who admires you but lets you continue to soar.
Because sometimes the best lessons come right on time, and 34 taught me exactly what I needed to know.
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