I used the elimination diet strategy to clean up the messy edges around my carefully curated, joy filled life.
With the help of therapy, I have learned to enforce boundaries in a healthy manner. What used to be a lash out and disappearance, is now a confident Alicia who speaks up about things that bother here immediately followed by a boundary.
For the longest, I was trapped behind the idea of false loyalty. Behind the idea that because I’ve known someone for so long, or been in relationship with them for so long that I have to maintain and whether the “seasons” because time determines loyalty.
That actually was one of the saddest lies I believed in, that kept me in a perpetual state of disappointment, reflection, offense and more.
So now, I’ve entered a season of reciprocity. Only showing up and staying involved in relationships and connections that feed me, fuel me, respect me and the person I’ve grown to become and continue to become.
I started by distancing myself from connections that no longer felt fulfilling, and in time I assessed how I felt without that connection. If I missed it, I worked to reconnect to it, if they were open to it. If I felt even a slither of peace and a disappearance of annoyance of chaos when they were gone… yes, that was the end of the road.
I’m now in a place where I no longer despise the idea of friends, spending time with others or extending myself to others. I found that is my true natural default action (to give parts of myself to others, fellowship, feel like a community and experience new things), and I’ve been enjoying thriving within in, void of the possible thought of being used, abused, or mistreated.
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