If you dip me in this water you will ruin my entire fuckin’ vacation. Do NOT put me in that fucking water!
Overheard from Alicia mid-mood swing
While on my first vacation with my childhood bestie, we went parasailing. Parasailing has been on my bucket list for quite some time and I’ve watched countless YouTube videos showing taking off, but somehow I never saw exactly how you come back down.
See, when it comes to my adventures, I preplan everything and research to get a good understanding of what it feels like. For me, nothing is ever “spontaneous” or “left to chance”. I don’t like surprises so, I was very prepared for take off during the parasailing, but I had NO IDEA, what the ending would be like.
*Cue the intrusive thoughts*.
While I was in the air, I felt peace. Stillness. Quiet. Thoughts of gratitude for continuing to show up for myself in life, and checking off things I’ve always wanted to do. Looking around and seeing sea turtles, dolphins, and then… imagining all the fish swimming around in that dark… blue… wavy.. non-clear.. water.
*Cue the intrusive thoughts*
What if this thing just snaps and I fall into this big ass ocean in this too big life vest!?
What if it’s a shark in this hot ass ocean!? OMG, do ladies feel safe swimming in the ocean on their period?
Ew, what if as I come down the sea turtles are near?
Damn, can you believe there are people who brave this kind of water to leave less than stellar conditions for a new life!? Oh my god….
Then came the reel in.
As I approached the boat, I heard them tell me to hold my nose, we were going to dip underwater….. and all hell broke loose. One thing about me? I don’t wanna be in NO WATER I can’t see through. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like the unknown.. and also.. gross. After quite a bit of bitching, and making EVERYONE on the crew feel uncomfortable, I was safely reeled back onto the boat and my limbs never touched the dark blue waters.
The end.
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